Parting blues

21st of June is my last day here at K-State. My home sweet home is no longer going to remain mine. I would no longer be coming to this lab, which I have always felt so attached to. I'm no longer going to be a student of this department, my second home here in Manhattan. Friends who were a phone call away are no longer going to be around.

It freaks me no end to think that these things are soon going to end. It is unbelievably painstaking to leave this weird yet beautiful place where routine seems messed up if you sleep before 3 in the night and get up before 10 in the morning. A place where something just doesn't feel right if you don't eat at Chipotle every other night. A place where feet, by default, turn towards union/radina's at 5 pm daily for coffee hour. A place where weekend doesn't seem complete without a movie on projector followed by dance party. In such state of bliss we've lived our lives here, its hard to imagine the day when I would step out of the lab one last time, out of the department one last time, out of the university one last time, out of the house one last time to board my last roadrunner. For a change it would feel like the cab should not just come to pick me up.

It all feels similar to what went through my mind on the last day of engineering, five years back. But then, I was going to live in the same town, in the same house and moreover with the same group of friends. The transition then was not as steep and abrupt. Moreover, then, I did not know the real worth of college life. I always knew college life is the one of the best phase's of one's life. But its only after you start working that you well and truly realize the seriousness and veracity of those thoughts. The same goes with Bachelor's life. Its not until you get married that you understand and appreciate the simplicities in life whilst being a bachelor, and the complications involved when you are no more single. In the last two years I've got a chance to experience both these phases, student and bachelor, once again after having experienced corporate and married life and having got to know their pros and cons. Though being a bachelor again has been hard, it sometimes feel glad to be amongst the lucky ones. Life is more often than not a one way traffic, very few people get a chance to go back in life . And in a sense experiencing bachelors and student's life once again has felt like the clock has ticked back on me.

Now these two phases are about to end ......... in fact a completely new chapter is about to begin. Its kind of been a hard climb and as I stand at this final step looking back at the road traveled, there is again a medley of emotions: satisfaction for achievements made, regret for the mistakes committed, anger for opportunities missed, happiness for the moments lived. Of course a lot of sadness around this whole thing of leaving. Met some really good people here. They say some people come in your life for a season, some for a reason and some for a lifetime. Not sure who came for what, but I sure got some real good friends and to all those folks .... I'll really miss you guys. Its been an absolute pleasure to have experienced life here, with you guys, in this cute little town they call the Little Apple.

In spite of all this nostalgia though, I must say I'm quite ready to move on. What I've learnt from the past is that its quite natural to feel nostalgic about things. But do not hold on to your past. Never think that your best days have gone past. In fact always look forward and keep thinking that the best days in your life are yet to come. So I'm completely positive that the best is still to come and looking forward to move on to a new phase in life. Will meet new people, hopefully make great friends and the new place would have something exciting on offer. Infact, Seattle was the vision, the dream I've had for a long long time. I'm soon going to be living this dream and that makes me happy no bound. Looking forward to getting sleepless in Seattle!

End of the beginning or beginning of the end

Its been a terrific day. As a teen, I had two dreams: 1. Doing MS, 2. Getting into MS. I am happy that both these "childhood" dreams are now checkmarked. Strangely though, the first dream was achieved after achieving the second one .... but who cares. More importantly, there are 2 less things now to "dream/achieve" in life.

But as is always the case "manzil se behtar hote hai ye raaste". Its been a terrific two years in Manhattan and after today's presentation the realization has suddenly dawned upon me that the countdown to leave this place has just begun.

The Curious Case of Mysterious Blogger

last year a tornado hit k-state during fun cricket ..... and this year it is this

.... http://fakeksuplayer.blogspot.com/ ......

its impact seems to be no less devastating, atleast as far as the desi community is concerned :)

IPL Review

The IPL is finally over. I did not follow IPL much last year because of the hectic schedules so I did not have much idea about how it is like. It was fun this year following all the games. Fantasy cricket made it even more interesting.

Its all a good concept. But you can't help thinking that its too long. Its hard to understand why every team has to play each other twice. The home and away concept seems to be flawed. Moreover, waiting for 37 days to know who the winner is, is just not done. One of the best things about T20 is that you get to know the winner in 3 hours. So waiting that long to decide the winner is just like watching a 4 or 5 test series to finally know who is going to win. And that defeats the purpose of T20! I also think that most of us guys even lost interest in Fantasy cricket half way through!

So while IPL promises fun, an overdose of cricket can get nauseating. And thats what happened this time atleast. I hope the organizers do something about it next year.

A lesson learnt

It hurt, really hurt. For some timeless moments I feared the worst. I feared that all my dreams have come down crashing. As I gathered my wits back, I kind of got a feeling that things were not as serious as I had earlier thought. Still, I was worried. I hoped it was not threatening. Moreover, I was shocked. Shocked thinking that how little wrong you've got to do to spoil all your good work, done perhaps in a life time. Its amazing really that one small wrong is equal to, and can negate, a thousand huge rights!
The question I asked myself is Was it really wrong? Whatever happened, was it really my fault? It was sheer bad luck, the probability of being precisely at that point at that time and being hit was really one in a million. Yet, I was hit. How cruel can my luck be!
Its easy to blame your luck in such cases. But as I introspected, I quickly realized that on that day and at that time I should not have been there in the first place! I really should have been here, sitting on this very chair and working on this very computer. Before I went there, I had a decision to make: Should I continue working OR should I go there .... and I took the easier decision, I succumbed to the temptation. And it was not just yesterday, I had been taking this easier, tempting and incorrect decision of going there for the last three days! There have been times when "He" has been very kind on me. "He" has made me believe that hard work never goes waste. "He" has made sure that as I sow, so shall I reap. Yesterday, it felt like "He" wanted to teach me a lesson, the hard way. "He" wanted to remind me of my responsibilities and warn me of my wrongs. "He" wanted me to realize that things should never be taken for granted.
Though painful, it has been a useful lesson.... or as they say every dark cloud has a silver lining. It is through these incidences that you learn about how to treat your falls and how to rise from them. Literally. It is through such events that you grow and mature. I'm grateful to "Him" for putting me through this. I have still not recovered though, so hoping that "He" helps me recover soon and hoping that things are not serious :)

"That" one moment

Its been exactly a year since "that" moment. One of the most memorable fortnights of my life had already begun. I did not know it then. But in that period, I perhaps experienced all emotions that one could possibly experience: dejection, depression, desperation, anxiety, happiness, satisfaction, pain, relief, regret, anger, solace, love, hate, tiredom, peace ..... I fought, I wept, I smiled, I laughed. I seemed calm but I was not, I seemed fresh but I was not, I seemed normal but I was not. It was the best "cocktail" of feelings I have ever had, its THE best "cocktail" one can ever taste.
All through it, I almost seldom slept, the dream did not let me sleep. My mind, body and soul were stretched and stressed to unimaginable proportions .... limits that I'd never thought I could withstand..... "I broke my heart, fought every gain". I channelized every ounce, every bit of every possible energy I possibly could have ever had ....... all for one cause ...... "to taste the sweet, I faced the pain".
Then, on "that" day, I could not find the right words to summarize my emotions. One year later, I know "that" day was "A moment when I was more than I'd ever thought I could be, A moment when I was racing with destiny, and "that" moment was the moment I felt eternity".
In remembrance of "that" moment ..... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wx4v6cO1GMk ..... a beautiful song. Thanks Madh for sharing :)

Yuvy should bat at no 3 in tests

I know people are calling for Yuvy to be axed from the Indian test side but I have a very contrasting opinion on this. We all know Yuvy is a player with infinite ability. But for some reason that talent has never been translated into consistent performances in test cricket. Axing him is not the solution because Indian cricket needs him, even at test level. Instead, they should try something different with him, change his batting position.
Actually, if you think about it, there are a lot of similarities between Ricky Ponting and Yuvraj Singh:

1. Ricky Ponting, in his early twenties was known to have tremendous potential. But he was brash, arrogant, considered a party animal and got involved in a lot of off-the-field controversies. Ditto with Yuvy.

2. In the first half of his test career, Ponting could never bat in the top 4 due to big shots like the Waugh brothers forming core of the middle order. Batting at no. 6 then, it would be fair to say he did not get too many chances to fully showcase his talent, to score big hundreds. Same has been the case with Yuvy. Due to fab 4, he has never got consistent opportunities in test cricket and whenever he has, he has had to bat at 6.

3. Ponting, as a youngster was a tremendous fielder. He was Australia's answer to Jonty Rhodes and Herschelle Gibbs. Again, ditto with Yuvraj.

4. Ponting is considered weak against spin, he has a dismal record in the subcontinents, records say he is bhajji's bunny. Bhajji says he can get ponting out in 6 balls. Yuvy too is a dead duck against quality spin. Records and Murali both say and prove that.

Till about the year 2003, Ponting was just another good player, there was nothing "great" about him. But then, something struct someone and they decided to entrust Ponting with some responsibilities. The first of those responsibilities was batting at 3 (the second ofcourse was captaincy). With that responsibility, Ponting turned out to be a different player altogether. With Hayden, Langer and Ponting as their top 3, Australia could play at their agressive best scoring at over 4 an over from day 1 of test matches and that definitely helped them win all those test matches in the last decade or so.
Thats why I say India should gamble with Yuvy at 3. He needs responsibility, the captain and selectors need to show faith in him, to get the best out of him. Also when batting at 3, Yuvy could well get a chance to face the new ball and so may not have to play spin first up. Having Sehwag, Gambhir and Yuvy as their top 3 would give India their best chance to score fast and win more test matches. Those 3 men could be India's answer to the Australian top order of the last decade. One may argue that Yuvy does not have the technique to play moving/seaming fast bowling, which is so important for a no. 3. But who would have thought that Sehwag with the kind of technique he had (and still has) would end up in emerging as India's best opening bat after Gavaskar, when he opened for the first time in England!
I think a major reason for Yuvy's lack of success in tests is that he is never sure whether to attack of defend. Sehwag and Yuvy have similar styles, both are extremely attacking. But unlike Yuvy, Sehawag gets to open the batting so does not have to think about playing according to the situation (well, not that he would have thought anyways). Sehwag "builds" the situation, he lays the platform and the other batters play accordingly depending on whether Sehwag has succeeded or not. I think Yuvy needs to be given a similar license. License to set up games, license to play his natural game. Then if he fails, have guys like Dravid at 6 to stem a collapse and play according to situation. Also, guys like Dravid and Sachin are not going to be in for long now. The other guys should now be given the lead, while these senior pro are still around to help, to set up games. It is time for transition, it is time to defy logic, it is time to get unconventional. Yuvy at No. 3 can help team India transit from a good side to a great side.