Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Quotes

"The first testicular guard was used in cricket in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. It took 100 years for men to realize that the brain is also important."

"Don't drink and drive, you may hit a bump and spill your drink."

"When you copy one person's work it is plagiarism, when you copy multiple peoples work it is research."

Ofcourse, these quotes have been plagiarized :P

Monday, August 17, 2009

Management Lessons

Had come across this forward loooooong way back, in the years when I used to "read" forwards. This one'd etched into my head then, can't help but remember this today :). Here it goes:

Four Management Lessons
************************

Lesson Number One
*********************
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"
The crow answered "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson Number Two
*********************
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer,who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.


Lesson Number Three
***********************
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss.

The Brain said, "I should be Boss because I control the whole body's responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.

All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the Feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.

Eventually they all decided that asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed.

All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Management Lesson:
You don't need brains to be a Boss - any asshole will do.


Lesson Number Four
*********************
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field.

While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.

The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.

Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung and promptly dug him out and ate him!


Management Lessons:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) When you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

Monday, August 3, 2009

Back on the road

I love exits along freeways. Particularly after a long and tiring drive it feels so refreshing to see a service-area at an exit. You can look after yourself, stretch, rest, relax, re-fuel, rejuvenate. These exits provide you the boost for the next leg of your journey, for yet another long drive. These exits keep a motorist going, they are the breaks that travelers look forward to. Without these exits, drives would become dull, drivers would lose interest.
Had stopped at one such exit .... for the last one and a half month. And boy, wasn't the break refreshing! Every week there was something to do - We explored an unbelievable number of places: New York, DC, Maryland, Niagara, Pocono Mountains in Pennsylvania, Atlantic City and the NJ coastline right up till Cape May. Drove thousands of miles, it was so much fun getting up every weekend picking up a car and heading straight to the highway. Ate great food: Home-made, desi restaurants, pizzas, mexican, lots of starbucks .... shopped king size: blew up hundreds of dollars shopping .... In short, everything was nothing short of spectacular. Life was perfection personified. Seriously, it doesn't get better than this.
But now its time for the engines to roar once more, its time to get back to the freeway and zooooom ahead. After all, too much time at an exit would mean lagging back .... behind the rest. Looking forward to the drive ahead, and even the bumps if any. The driver and his car are all charged up now.

PS: Forced exits or mistaken/mistimed exits can result in unnecessary stress, loss of time and other problems. So beware ;)

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

A restless mind

An idle mind is a devils workshop
What is a restless mind

Idle mind is like a barren land devoid of rain,
Restless mind is like a place with storms and pain.
Idle mind is like an undeveloped town with lot of empty place,
Restless mind is like a crowded city with absolutely no space

An idle mind is a devils workshop
What is a restless mind

Idle mind is like a position with no options to choose,
Restless mind is like a position with plenty to lose.
Idle mind is like a radarless ship,
Restless mind is a life with no grip.

An idle mind is a devils workshop
What is a restless mind

Do not know but I end with this note
Both idle and restless minds me thinks are in the same boat.
Both problems have the same foundation,
They both do not know their final destination.
It all boils down to discovering your passion,
and following it with extreme obsession.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Car

I am the one who you depend on so much
On weekends, holidays, emergencies any day as such
Without me your lives would stand still
Even if you walk or show any will

I am fast, I am sleek, I look good
I am not fussy, you provide me the same food
Faithful I am, selfless is my nature
Agile I am, attractive is every feature

Year over year, relentlessly I serve you
I tire out, but give no clue
and when I get old and start to pain
you dump me and I still dont complain

From you nothing do I expect
But encouraging would be that prospect
If you acknowledge my presence, not take me for granted
that will be my moment, and I'll be delighted!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Never apply for OPT to Vermont!

Here goes the story of my OPT, something that has kept me intensely frustrated for the last 3-4 days.

- On about the 15th of May I approached ISC (the International student center at KSU), letting them know that I wanted to apply for OPT. It took them about a week to generate a new I-20 for me and to review my application. On about the 20th of May, I posted the OPT packet .... to Nebraska service center.

- On 4th June, I received something from Nebraska: My application packet was rejected. On one of the forms submitted as part of the OPT application, I had indicated that I would like to receive my OPT card at Philadelphia address because I may not be in Kansas when the card would arrive. Philadelphia falls under Vermont serive center, not Nebraska. I would therefore have to apply to Vermont, it said.

- Now, I always thought the service center to which you apply depends on your university. So K-state students would always apply to Nebraska for OPT, I thought. My bad. But the ISC, when reviewing my application never pointed out to me that having a differnt "state" address on form 765, alters the application course so drastically. But anyway.

- On 5th June I went back to ISC asking them for an advice. I asked them: 1. Should I send my application packet to Vermont? OR 2. Should I put a Kansas address of some friend in Manhattan on form 765 and send the packet to Nebraska? Is the Nebraska service center any different or faster than Vermont Service center in processing applications etc, I asked. A lady at the ISC adviced me to send the packet to Vermont. All service centers are the same she said, there is no difference!

- On 6th June I sent my application to Vermont. And now I realize what a joke it was on part of ISC in saying that all service centers are similar. Since the 8th of June my case is pending with the Vermont center. Last week I sent them an expedite request to process my application faster. This request was rejected, the ISC now says that Vermont center does not accept expedite processing requests.

The result: I still do not have my OPT card and I may not be able to start work on 20th July! And it is so damn frustrating. Everyone asks me why did I not start the OPT application earlier than 15th of May. The answer to this is that you are supposed to apply for OPT in your graduating semester, not the semester before that. So as soon as spring-end was approaching, I approached ISC with my OPT application. Now while I am not starting any blame-game here, I cannot help thinking what was ISC doing all this time in advicing me to send the application to Vermont. They should have made it explicit, very clear, to the point of warning me that application processing at a center other than Nebraska would be time consuming. They had a chance to do it twice, but I was never warned!

My advice to K-state students who would be applying for an OPT:

1. Always put a local address on form 765 so that your application would be processed at Nebraska.

2. Do not blindly trust ISC. Make sure you've filled up the forms correct, attached all required documents etc.

As far as I'm concerned, its the beginning of a painful wait for me :(

Sunday, June 21, 2009

So many things to do, so less time

So many people to meet, so less time,
So many places to visit, so less time,
So many friends to hug, so less time,
So many things to say, so less time,
So many memories to share, so less time.
I said hello not because I needed to, but because I wanted to
But now its time to say goodbye not because I want to, but I need to.

Alvida K-State, its time to move on !